Creating this blog is probably the worst thing I could possibly do...journaling online. Remember the journal? It was the place where you wrote about life experiences, break-ups, new relationships, deep reflections, and reminders-in the privacy of your own book bound, key locked document. Blogging on the other hand is out there, public, and open for ridicule. What the heck, maybe there are others who want to contribute, or walk this journey with me.
Just over a month ago I became a caregiver. Not the certified hard-working caregiver that graces a long term care facility. Nope, just another slice of meat in the sandwich generation, with her aging parents living upstairs. I know there are others out there. I hear about your struggles at the water-cooler. I read about your troubles in the news. You know the struggles, the ones where you try to find peace when parents are forgetful and crave the semblance of the life they left. Add that to a daughter and granddaughter who just so happen to live with you too. But wait, there's more! An intimate relationship that was already struggling is thrown into the mix. This is my journey, with a few "ah ha's" I have experienced to date, and the realizations yet to come. Welcome to my journal, and thank you for being a part of it.
The first thing that occurred to me was different expectations of generations. I am Gen-X'er and while writing this I found a Pew Research article (http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/06/05/generation-x-americas-neglected-middle-child/) that described me as "book-ended between two larger generations" and then further describing us as the bridge between the Baby Boomer and Millennials. Apparently, we have been given the shaft in a number of different measures. We don't see our generation as that impressive, and we sit in the middle of social movements from same sex marriage and technology. Maybe this sandwich thing was predetermined. Regardless, the expectations of the Silent Generation Elders, that moved in, differs significantly from my expectations.
Here's what happened. I took the Elders to to get lab work done in order to transfer care from their home residence to the new residence. I foolishly selected the large hospital system, where care was supposed to be established. I "thought" (key word) they could maneuver themselves from my car, into the building, get blood drawn, and come out unscathed. OH JIMINY, I was completely wrong. They ended up in a completely different place, no blood was drawn, they left believing my directions were completely off base. I expected the Elders to ask for information and proceed to the correct place. They expected the facility to guide them. A simple, "Why are you here today" is what I thought the facility would do. Instead the Elders gave them a run down of their health history, and they ended up no where near the laboratory. My supposed low expectations, coupled with the Silent Generation's expectation of being guided, ended up in a longer drive to a small local lab. The conversation along the way..."they didn't have any idea what we wanted" and "they said we couldn't get lab work there". On this day I was bologna.
